I've been trying to delight myself, persuading myself that my life has a meaning.
I only found that every little bit is dissatisfying me. Not that I have no hope, but my hope is so unlikely to realize. Look at everybody around, what they say, what they. If my life has a meaning, it's not in this cycle. I only become more certain that I'm not born for this city, not this country, not this world, not this age, not this dimension.
In the end...
"to live" is different from "to survive". I still hope I am living, and will be living, till the end. Perhaps it'll be my time when this world reach its end. Perhaps I have to wait for my next cycle.
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chee r
sap 16.04.2010, 24.04.2010
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